“Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I wait for you.”
I need answers. I am currently in a season at both work and home in which I am deep into planning for the rest of the year. I have schedules to create, decisions to make, and I desperately want to follow God’s leading.
So I pray. And I ask. And I search. For weeks I have been asking God what He would have me do in all these situations. I want to be faithful. And what do I get? Nothing. I have gotten no answers and no insights. No “aha moments,” no peace. I am still in the dark. So what does a good Christian do in those situations? It’s simple: I keep asking, and praying and seeking.
Surely my faithful God won’t leave me hanging will He? After all, it is His will I am seeking. Surely He won’t leave me here in the dark to make these decisions all by myself, will He?
Friends, have you ever had experiences like these? Do you struggle through times in which God does not appear to be listening? Does He seem distant and far away? I think we all do. How do we deal with that?
In my experiences, there is such an anxiety that accompanies these times of utter silence from the Lord. See, I truly ask and want to follow His plan in all areas of my life. I want to make sure I am getting it right. But there is a limit to how long I will wait. After all, God may be eternal, but I have a schedule to keep, right?
I cannot dare fall behind because the whole world would come to an end if I didn’t have everything tied up in a neat bow 3 months in advance. And I have to admit, I’m a pretty smart girl. I can always figure these things out on my own. If the Maker of the Universe can’t get on board with my timetable, then I am sure I can work it out by myself. I have to do something, I can’t bear the stress and uncertainty of the unknown. This state of limbo is driving me crazy. I have to address these things now and put them behind me so I can focus on the next priority and the next. I don’t have time to wait on Him anymore.
But, what if, He has answered me? What if His answer is,
What if His answer is,
“I am still putting things in place for you to be successful. Please be patient.”
What if His answer is,
“You are focusing on the wrong thing. Turn around and get on board with Me”
It never occurs to me that God has a timetable, or that my plan isn’t lining up with His. It never occurs to me that He is active in my waiting and I just can’t see it. So what do I do now?
Maybe, I should forget my schedule and be at peace in my waiting for Him to move. Maybe I should show a little faith and trust and ask Him to reveal Himself to me at the right time, not necessarily MY time. Maybe I should remember His promise to never leave me and to always answer when I call. Maybe I should stop acting like God and let HIM be God for a while.
You have numbered the hairs upon my head. You know me in my sleeping and in my waking. You know my heart, mind and soul. You also know what I need. Forgive my impatience and lack of faith. Help me to hear Your voice, and to rest in Your promises until I do. Relieve my anxieties with the unknown, and develop in me a heart that trusts Your faithfulness in all seasons.
In the name of my Rock and Fortress I pray,